Here’s a question for you. When are you old? Are you old at fifty years or is it more like sixty? Many years ago you were old when you were thirty; nowadays we live longer so it appears to have moved backward. Let’s call it sixty…what happens on the day you turn sixty? You go to bed middle aged and shazzam you wake up old. That’s a bit rough. So why am I suddenly concerned with how old I am? Well I’m not really; I’m not old, not for a fair while anyway. It’s because I was doing some research on maxi scooters and discovered that as I thought the average rider is…old. In fact after more exhaustive research it appears the likelihood of a young person buying a maxi scooter is 1 in 9,899,9999,345,678. This is…not very likely then.

All this research has caused me to come up with my own theory, see I don’t think it’s quite as simple as ‘old people ride maxi’s’. I believe there’s far more to it than that. I believe it’s a conspiracy of withering proportions; something that could tear at the very fabric of our society. I believe that Maxi scooters actually make you old. That’s right, the very second you purchase one and ride out of dealer…OLD. Instant oldness. What’s worse is that you don’t even know it’s happened. This is why so many maxi scooter owners are older. It’s beyond your control entirely. Remember this as you’re drawn towards the latest super maxi scooter. It could be your last day as a young man/woman.