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Written by Ketzal Sterling    Tuesday, 29 January 2008 04:37     E-mail
Yamaha Jog - Page 2
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Storage is rather on the poor side; there’s no glove box upfront and nothing under the seat except a fuel and oil tank. Modern conveniences like a remote seat release are obviously not included, when gassing up you’ll have to remove the key to open the seat. Not really that annoying except the Jog has the worlds smallest tank and needs constant refueling. The Jog is incredibly easy to move around compared to practically any modern bike as it weighs just 49kg. Interestingly it’s surprising hard to put on the centre stand considering it weighs nothing; I guess they’ve actually made some progress with centre stand designs over the years.

The Jog does have one cutting edge design feature that eclipses all modern bikes; telepathic braking. Yes you read that correctly, I’ll try and explain. See as you approach a stop you have to imagine stopping; you won’t actually stop, you’ll just imagine stopping, and that really is quite an achievement. I guess the Jog also has another feature as well, telepathic crashing. As you approach an intersection you imagine coming to a stop; when that doesn’t happen you then begin to imagine crashing; as that is the likely outcome of any sudden hazard. The 1988 Jog requires a special kind of riding, I like to call it religion riding. It’s basically blind faith; you simply have to ride under the assumption that at no point in time will anybody or anything ever cross your path, because if by chance that did happen there’s really not much you could do to avoid it.

The front and rear drums are so useless that they barely deserve the title ‘Brakes’, they should be titled ‘Hand Exercises’; all they really do is give your hands a good workout. One has to squeeze them with such brutal force you’ll eventually have forearms like Popeye if you ride the Jog regularly…if you live long enough. A much better idea then trying to stop on the Jog is…not stopping. If a car was to pull out in front of you simply launch into a Superman. A Superman is achieved by jumping with full force prior to hitting the car; as you soar into the air it is important you stretch both arms out before you to assume the full air born superman flight position. While you’re flying the Jog will embed itself in the car below you and if you’re very lucky it will be completely destroyed so it can never be used by another human. Actually there are a few humans who could use them…they could use them for the inmate termination. Instead of lethal injection a prison could simply give a 1988 Jog to a prisoner on death row and tell them they’re free to go. The prisoner would leave a free and happy person with a huge smile on their face; they’d die at the first intersection when they tried to stop, cheap and highly effective.

Last Updated ( Friday, 20 February 2009 11:19 )


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